Am I a blogger or a slacker?

I've started about 6 blogs. I write for awhile then stop. I forget. I've been pretty good at blogging about my artwork for awhile, so I figured I would give this another shot (writing about more personal things, mostly the kids) my best friend blogs every day, about some cute or funny or touching story related to her kids mostly, and i keep thinking how awesome it is that she's dong that because now she has this great record of her kids growing up. And I feel inadequate. Like I am not living in the moment with my kids, I am somehow just passing the time without really taking part in it. I know that's not true, I do many things with my kids, as much as I can! and i take lots of photos of our activities, too. But it seems that something is missing, although I can't quite put my finger on it.
Well, anyway, here, once again is my attempt to write about our lives. Let's see how long it lasts this time, and if I can do it regularly for one month, then I will tell people about it. Otherwise it's just embarrassing! Day one, check.

Sept. routine

At the beginning of the month it was getting used to the new school routine. The it was finishing getting the house organized. Then it was getting the studio organized, and I was determined to make some art, which I did, and damn good are as it turns out. Exercise fit in sometimes, not consistently, but 2-3 days a week I either rode my bike a little or went swimming, even made it to the gym a couple of times. We are well into our routine now, and I thought that by now I would be exercising at least 3-4 days per week, going to the studio 3 days per week, volunteer at school one day, and do housework one day.

So, why hasn;t that happened yet? Because I am no good at and have never been good at having a routine. I am a fly-by-the seat of my pants kind of a person, I go with my moods which are unpredictable at best. Lately I have had bursts of creative energy, so I have been trying to take advantage of that. Going to yard sales and making inspirational recycled art.

But I have not been exercising or keeping up with the house beyond the absolute neccesities like grocery shopping, making dinner, and barely keeping up with laundry.

I have not been eating right. Or drinking enough. Or exercising. Difficulty sleeping, sometimes. Tired when I am at home. Not being able to keep the schedule. Have many things happening at once (art shows, poetry readings, social events, etc.)

I need to start meditating again (as if I ever did THAT on a regular basis...hah.)

I just feel out of control these days.

What part of 5:30 did you not understand

We decided to go out for dinner tonight, me and the hubby. Good idea after a week of working, running the kids around. I certainly don't feel like cooking, and he doesn't either. So, I said, let's go at 5:30 to beat the dinner rush. I had a light lunch. I am hungry! 5:30 comes and goes. He mows the lawn, goes on the computer, then decides to get changed. It's now 6:00 and my blood sugar is way down. I already had a yogert to help get me through the hump...but it's wearing off and I don't want to eat more to spoil my dinner! We still have to order ahead to avoid the lines...but not until I read him the on-line menu...maybe a home-made salad will do the trick after all. I don't think I will make it another moment.

Housewife

How do we get to where we are? I find myself in the role of Housewife. Something I never aspired to be, although to be honest I never really knew what I wanted to be. It's a role I don't seem to be very good at. Yes, I can perform the functions...I can clean, cook, and do the laundry. But the laundry always seems to be slightly wrinkled, the meals leave lots to be desired (i.e. BORING) and I have tried to delegate the big cleaning jobs to the kids and the husband. I can live with a slightly messy house, but what really causes me the most anxiety is my lack of ability to keep the household organized. I can never seem to keep up with the mail, the filing, sending rebates when I buy something that requires it (I am sure those companies hope that everyone is like me...) the school papers that come home almost daily. The soccer schedule. The social calendar. Music lessons. And that's just the kids. Never mind my own! Not that I even have a life anymore. I can never find my keys, I come back into the house . At the moment, my husband is looking for some papers so I need to go find them.

8 things...

Eight Things I Am Passionate About
The Kids
Bruce Springsteen
Art (making it, looking at it, talking about it)
Writing poetry
My friendships (particularly the longer-term ones)
Reducing waste and general earth-friendly life-style
Eating healthy (this one is tough to actually implement, see next item...)
Hot fudge sundaes

Eight Books I've Read and Enjoyed
Atlas Shrugged
The Fountainhead
The Stand
The Road
The Good Earth
The Red Tent
I can't remember any more


Eight Words/Phrases I Say Often
Kevin
Jason
Dear
Crap
I'm an artist
Turn down/off the TV
Did you brush your teeth?
Did you finish your home work?

Eight Things I Want To Do Before I Die
Skydive
Swim with dolphins in the wild while scuba diving
Go on a trip with all my wonderful friends at the same time
Leave an positive impact on the world
Live in NYC for one year
Live at the Jersey Shore for one year
Have enough money to hire a personal chef, nutritionist, and massage therapist
Die laughing

Eight Things I’ve Learned In My Life
We all have more than one soul mate
Kids suck the life out of you, while at the same time breath life into you
Things happen for a reason (even though we may never figure out what that reason is)
There's nothing better than seeing Springsteen with your best friend, even if I was only front row NEXT to center.
You have more impact on the people around you than you will ever know.
Sometimes you just have to let go
Sometimes, life just sucks. Then morning comes.
You get out of life, what you put into it.

Eight Places I Want To See
The south pole
I want to see people stop being so self-centered (oopps that's not a place. Oh well)
Tahiti
Bali
All the Hawaiian Islands
Alaska
African Safari

Eight Things I Currently Need/Want
A wife (yes, I am a wife...but i need a wife!!)
A personal chef
masseuse
professional organizer
A car that runs on solar power
I want my husband's company to succeed so he can be home more
To go back to school to learn more about being an artist
More time to make art (see # 1, that would do it)



Eight People I Want To Tag
I don't know how to tag, and I am new at blogging so I don't know any other bloggers except for patios!!!

Sorry I am late

I've been trying to pull off this single mom thing, and so far doing a fairly good job, I think. Well I am not actually a single mom...but my husband is working for a start-up company and works about 12 hours a day so I am pretty much on my own with the kids. So far we've been ok with drop-off and pick-ups, no conflicting times, UNtil, that is, tonight. Scouts ended at the same time as soccer practice. I thought I could leave one activity 5 minutes early, to arrive at the second activity just 5 minutes late. I ended up leaving the first activity 10 minutes late, arriving at the second one, 20 minutes late. The coach called looking for me...I was so embarrassed. I guess dad will need to step in from now on on Tuesdays! Sorry, coach. It won't happen again.

Sept. blues

The kids have been back to school for one week. I hope it's ok to take their first day of school photo, like, during the second week of school..because I haven't taken it yet. Our mornings are still pretty hectic, still working out the morning routine. We were all riding our bikes to and from school together, which was very nice...I got some exercise. and the kids seemed to like it. Then, 2 neighbors decided to carpool, one of them, my ten year old's new friend, so that pretty much ended our rides to school. The older one still rides, anything to separate himself from his younger brother. Ten year old is going to try cross country team. He'll be at school for an extra hour, running, so it's probably best that he gets a ride home anyway.

Today was a "bad mommy" day. I am such a softie. Let them do whatever. Their dad is more, well, I wouldn't say strict, but less lenient. But every time we disagree on something, I feel like a complete failure as a mother. Should I be more pushy and strict? Stick to the rules I am always making? I am not good at following through on chores and such. Sue me.